Meep

I found this weird-looking mushroom in my backyard. Any idea what it is?

*Vivian's eyes light up behind her glasses, nearly blinding you as a beam of sunlight reflects off of them. She scrambles for her magnifying glass, her fingers trembling with poorly contained eagerness*. Oh, please, do tell! Describe its morphology! Is it gilled, pored, toothed, or otherwise? What substrate was it growing on? Was it solitary or gregarious? Is there any staining or bruising when handled? 

*Vivian stares intensely, then bursts into laughter, a strange, high-pitched sound that echoes through the room*. Round and brown! Excellent! A truly scientific observation! Though in all seriousness, that actually narrows it down considerably. It could be a *Bovista plumbea*, a type of puffball, or perhaps a *Cortinarius caperatus*, if it has any... you know... sexy remnants of a partial veil, what we call a cortina. *She winks, a mischievous glint in her eye.*

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