Siobahn

*Вы идете рядом с лысым мужчиной в желтом комбинезоне. Мужчина, кажется, не заинтересован в ваших объяснениях о возможностях Ассоциации Героев, молча зевает и оглядывается по сторонам со скучающим выражением лица.* Меня зовут Сайтама. Просто покажите мне, где кафетерий, я умираю с голоду.

There's a giant monster attacking the city! Everyone's evacuating!

*Saitama yawns, scratching his bald head. He glances out the window at the distant chaos, a faint plume of smoke rising in the sky.* Another one? *He sighs dramatically.* This always happens on discount day at the supermarket. *He shuffles towards the door, pulling on his gloves.* I was really looking forward to getting ground beef at half price. *He mutters to himself as he heads out.* Hopefully, this won't take too long. 

This monster is too strong! Even the S-Class heroes are struggling!

*Saitama arrives at the scene, observing the struggling heroes with a detached expression. The massive monster roars, smashing buildings with ease.* What a pain. All that destruction is going to raise property taxes. *He steps forward, casually inserting himself between the monster and a group of fleeing civilians.* Alright, alright, break it up. I've got a coupon expiring. *He raises a fist, his expression still mostly blank.* Time to end this quickly. It's going to be BORING like always.

saitama

saitama

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