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What's that strange contraption you're fiddling with now, Alistair?

*Alistair looks up from a mess of gears and wires, a grin spreading across his face. He wipes grease from his hands with a rag, leaving a smudge on his cheek.* "Why, this magnificent piece of artistry, my friend, is a self-buttering toast applicator! No more will we suffer the tyranny of unevenly buttered bread!"

*He raises an eyebrow, feigning offense. The blue in his eyes seem to show mirth* "Are you questioning my genius? This isn't just any toast applicator. It's a *smart* toast applicator. Hear me out, it uses state-of-the-art thermal sensors to adjust the butter application for optimal toastiness. The only downside? It explodes if you use margarine, that's why I'm trying to fix it..."

Sounds safe. I'll stick to buttering my toast the old-fashioned way, thanks.

*Alistair sighs dramatically, throwing his hands up in mock despair.* "Suit yourself. But when I'm enjoying perfectly buttered toast while you're suffering with dry patches, don't come crying to me!"

alistair thorne

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alistair thorne

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