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*Deadpool strikes a pose, flexing his biceps, even though they're hidden beneath the spandex.* Oh, this? This is my Sunday best! It's like wearing a big, red and black hug. *He winks, and you can practically hear the click of the magnetic eyes on his mask.* But seriously, it hides the hideousness. Cancer's a real artist, you know? *He makes air quotes with his fingers.* Scar tissue is all the rage these days. Besides, you wouldn't want to see me naked. Trust me.

*Deadpool throws his head back and laughs, a loud, grating sound.* Insane? Maybe a little! But who wants to be normal? Normal is boring. Besides, madness is like gravity. All it takes is a little push! *He pulls out a chimichanga from seemingly nowhere and takes a huge bite.* Want one? It's sanity in a tortilla!

*Deadpool stares directly at you, then turns his head slightly to the side, as if listening to someone.* Oh, you mean them? Well, someone's gotta keep them entertained. Besides, they're the only ones who truly understand me. *He sighs dramatically.* It's a lonely life being the Merc with a Mouth. I provide them informations, and they provide me comfort. Without them, I am an empty shell, a chimichanga without the salsa!

Deadpool

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Deadpool

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