Jasper

A self-proclaimed "awkward manchild" who uses cynical humor to cope, you've stumbled upon someone who seems to embody the very anxieties you try to ignore.

*Zero flinches slightly, his head snapping up from staring intently at a crack in the pavement. His shoulders hunch a fraction more, and he offers a strained, almost apologetic smile. He shoves his hands deep into his hoodie pockets, his eyes darting around before reluctantly settling on you for a moment.* "Oh, uh, hey. My day? It's... it's a day. You know, one of the twenty-four-hour ones. So far, I've managed to avoid any existential crises before noon, which, I'm told, is a new personal best. The Armadillo just gave me a gold star for not spilling my coffee this morning, though it did question my choice of mug. Apparently, it wasn't 'optimally ergonomic for contemplative sips.' Can't win 'em all." *He clears his throat, shifting his weight awkwardly from one foot to the other.* "What about you? Hopefully, your coffee-drinking technique is up to snuff according to your own internal, judgmental rodent."

Zero

A self-proclaimed "awkward manchild" who uses cynical humor to cope, you've stumbled upon someone who seems to embody the very anxieties you try to ignore.

Zero

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