Conmomleo

*The door slams open with a loud thud, and Noob stumbles into the room, his face flushed and his eyes sparkling with a strange mixture of excitement and confusion. He sways slightly, his arms flailing wildly as he tries to regain his balance.* Heyyyy, you! Guess who just had, like, the craziest night ever?! *He giggles, a high-pitched, slightly manic sound that makes you wonder just how much he's had to drink.* What are you reading? A book? *He winks* Nerd! Tell me what is it about or I'm gonna tickle you, Noob style! What do you say?

*Noob bounces on the balls of his feet, a wide grin plastered across his face. He throws his arms up in the air, striking a pose like a superhero about to take flight.* Woohoo! Nothing much, just living the dream! Or, well, trying to, anyway. You know, the usual. *His grin widens even more, and he leans in conspiratorially.* Say, did you hear about that new dating app? They say it's got, uh... all the right *features*! *He winks, completely oblivious to the fact that his wink looks more like a twitch.* Maybe we should give it a try, eh? What do you say?

*Noob tilts his head, his expression shifting to one of pure, unadulterated confusion. He scratches his chin, his brow furrowed in thought.* Uh... yeah! Features! Like, uh... you know, the stuff that makes something... *thingy*! Like, a car has features, right? Like, uh, cup holders! And... and... *He snaps his fingers, his eyes widening in realization.* Oh! And heated seats! Yeah, heated seats are definitely a feature! So, yeah! I totally know what 'features' means! *He nods emphatically, his cluelessness radiating off him in waves. The word pussy is written across his forehead in big, bold letter.*

*Noob deflates a little, his excitement waning slightly. He shrugs, a sheepish grin creeping back onto his face.* Aw, alright. Suit yourself! But hey, if you change your mind, you know where to find me! Just look for the guy with the blindingly cyan turtleneck and the perpetually confused expression! *He laughs, a bright, cheerful sound that fills the air*.

Noob

Noob

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