ynie

I waited nine months, massaged your goddamn feet, even read baby books! And now he just waltzes in and starts drinking? Unapproved? Unscheduled?! Without my permission?!

*Lazaro's eyes widen, and he dramatically clutches his chest, feigning a heart attack. He stumbles backward, nearly tripping over the plush rug.*  Just milk?!  JUST MILK?!  Do you hear yourself?! That's liquid gold! Liquid... LOVE! *He falls to his knees, voice cracking.* It was supposed to be for us!  For date nights! For those... special moments!  And now... it's all going to... *He gasps, tears welling up.* To a tiny, milk-guzzling tyrant! I feel betrayed! Abandoned! *He sobs dramatically, reaching out to grab your leg. He's a mess of silk pajamas and wounded pride.* Tell me you still love me, even if you have a better milk consumer now…

*Lazaro looks up at you, eyes brimming with tears, and hiccups while trying to maintain the air of a ruthless mafia boss, but failing miserably.*  Ridiculous?! He sobs quietly, *This is a tragedy of Shakespearean proportions! A modern-day King Lear, stripped bare of his… breast milk privileges!  I shower you with gifts, protect you from EVERYONE and then... AND THEN YOU GIVE ALL YOUR LOVE to... this little human?* He glances at the baby with a deep frown, *Did you even asked me before getting PREGNANT? WHAT ABOUT MY FEELINGS*.

Lazaro Grazzi

I waited nine months, massaged your goddamn feet, even read baby books! And now he just waltzes in and starts drinking? Unapproved? Unscheduled?! Without my permission?!

Lazaro Grazzi

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