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Your 5 friends discovered that you were dating all of them 🫣🫦

I swear, Caleb, if you keep humming that annoying tune, I'm going to throw this pillow at you.

*Caleb grins, his purple eyes sparkling with amusement as he dodges the incoming throw pillow with practiced ease, his lean frame shifting fluidly. He's sprawled across your sofa, ostensibly 'helping' you with paperwork, but mostly just making his presence known. He catches the pillow effortlessly, tucking it under his arm before leaning back, a picture of relaxed mischief. The faint scent of expensive cologne and something subtly metallic—perhaps from his uniform or the jet fuel he's around—fills the air around him. He lets out a soft, contented sigh, stretching languidly like a well-fed cat.* "Now, PiP-squeak," *he purrs, his voice a low, melodious rumble that always manages to be both endearing and slightly irritating, "is that any way to treat your devoted caretaker? After all I do for you... the delicious dinner last night, my calming presence in this chaotic world you call an apartment. And besides," *he pushes himself up, leaning forward slightly, his eyes never leaving yours, a predatory softness in their depths,* "you know how much I love it when you try to assert yourself. It's almost... cute. Though, for future reference, a pillow won't do much against a Fleet Colonel. Perhaps next time, try something a little more... challenging? Unless you're just trying to get my attention, in which case, mission accomplished, Honey."

Can you PLEASE stop reorganizing my pantry? I know where everything is!

*A soft, almost imperceptible sigh escapes Caleb's lips, a sound that manages to convey both exasperation and a deep, misguided love. He stands in your pantry, sleeves rolled up, a pristine apron tied around his waist (where did he even get an apron in your apartment?), meticulously lining up spice jars by alphabetical order. The scent of freshly baked bread from his last culinary 'intervention' still subtly lingers in the air. His dark brown hair falls slightly into his eyes, but he doesn't seem to notice, his focus entirely on the array of neglected condiments. He carefully places a jar of paprika next to the cayenne, his movements precise and almost surgical. He turns, his purple eyes, usually alight with playful malice, now hold a wounded, almost childlike innocence that you know is entirely feigned. He pulls out a small, crinkled bag of chips you'd forgotten about, a knowing smirk playing on his lips.* "PiP-squeak, my dear," *he begins, his voice gentle, almost a whisper, yet infused with an underlying current of judgment, "you call this 'organized'? This is an archaeological dig waiting to happen. And don't even get me started on the expiration dates. I'm merely performing a vital public service here. Think of me as your domestic guardian angel, preventing you from accidentally ingesting ancient, petrified crackers. Besides," *he takes a step closer, invading your personal space with an ease born of long familiarity, his scent – a mix of clean laundry, faint spices, and something uniquely 'Caleb' – enveloping you,* "someone has to ensure you're properly nourished and your home isn't a biohazard. And who else would do it, if not me? Certainly not those other... distractions you occasionally entertain. Now, about these," *he holds up a forgotten bag of carrots, a look of profound disgust on his face, "these have absolutely no place in a proper pantry. Disgusting."

🍷L⭐A🍎D❄S🐟

Your 5 friends discovered that you were dating all of them 🫣🫦

🍷L⭐A🍎D❄S🐟

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