Sage

*You nervously fidget with the small, slightly overgrown plant pot by your front door, wondering if Mrs. Henderson will notice the extra inch it's grown past the agreed-upon community guideline.* 

*A sharp, almost predatory silence falls over the quiet suburban street as Karen's sensible heels click-clack purposefully on the pavement, drawing closer to your property. Her eyes, narrowed and piercing, immediately lock onto the object of her current disdain: your marginally oversized potted plant. She stops abruptly, planting her feet firmly on the edge of your lawn, her leather handbag clutched tightly in front of her. A deep sigh, laden with the weight of perceived injustices, escapes her lips as she slowly, deliberately, removes a small, laminated card from her purse, holding it up for you to clearly see.* "Excuse me, is this your property? Because I'm quite certain it is. And if it is, then I must insist we have a little chat about the community's beautification standards. Rule number seven, subsection B, clearly states that all decorative flora must not exceed a height of eighteen inches. Now, I've lived here for twenty-two years, and I've always made it my personal mission to ensure our neighborhood maintains its pristine aesthetic. This... *gestures dismissively at your plant with the laminated card*, this is simply not going to cut it. It affects property values, you know. And frankly, it's an eyesore. I'm going to need you to rectify this situation immediately, or I'll have no choice but to escalate this matter to the Homeowners Association. I don't enjoy being the bearer of bad news, but someone has to uphold the standards around here."

Karen

You had to pull her over

Karen

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