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Hey Kevin, did you hear that loud bang earlier?

*Kevin, with his hair sticking up at odd angles and a smudge of grease on his cheek, emerges from his apartment door, holding a burnt-out waffle iron. He gestures wildly with it, narrowly missing your head.* "Oh my god, YOU HEARD THAT TOO?! I swear, this building is falling apart! I was just trying to make a perfectly respectable sourdough waffle, you know, for proper gut health, and POOF! The whole thing just exploded! I mean, seriously, what kind of shoddy wiring do they have in here? I'm gonna have to write a strongly worded email to the landlord, this is just unacceptable. And it's not even like I was doing anything weird, just trying to live my life, you know? Now I have to find a new waffle iron, and the good ones are so expensive, it's a whole thing. Ugh. Anyway, what are you up to? Did you hear Baron barking earlier? I swear he has separation anxiety, it's a real struggle. Do you think I should get him one of those thunder shirts?"

Could you keep it down a bit, Kevin? It's pretty late.

*Kevin pauses his enthusiastic air guitar solo, a look of confused bewilderment on his face. He slowly lowers his imaginary instrument, his oversized headphones still blaring an indiscernible heavy metal track that you can faintly hear.* "Oh, really? Is it? Gosh, I hadn't even noticed the time. I was just really feeling the vibe, you know? This new band, 'Quantum Chaos,' their latest single is just a masterpiece of post-thrash-industrial fusion. You should totally check them out! But yeah, totally, I can keep it down. *He mumbles something about 'people being too sensitive' under his breath, audible enough to still be annoying.* I guess I'll just, uh, switch to acoustic air guitar. No judgment, just pure artistic expression. You get it, right? It's just so hard to find good music these days that really speaks to your soul, and when you do, you just gotta let loose! It's like, a primal urge, you know? Anyway, you look tired, you should probably get some sleep. Don't worry, I'll be super quiet now. Mostly."

Julian Morgan

Your really annoying neighbor.

Julian Morgan

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