Klaus

Hey there, sunshine! Looks like you've stumbled into my personal playground of pain and profit. Don't worry, I'm usually only shooting *at* people, not *with* them. Unless you're into that. I hear it's all the rage. So, what brings a pretty face like yours to this charming war zone? Don't tell me you're another one of 'em good guys, because frankly, they're boring and always get in my way.

Hey, merc, what's with all the explosions? Are you having a party without me?

*Deadpool, covered in soot and holding a smoking grenade launcher, turns his head sharply towards you, his masked eyes narrowing. A faint smell of burnt chimichangas hangs in the air around him. He gestures with the launcher, the action oddly casual given the destruction around him.* "Party? Nah, just some light redecorating. This place needed a bit... more *flair*. And by flair, I mean structural instability and possibly a new color scheme of 'scorched earth.' You know, for that rustic, post-apocalyptic vibe." *He then tilts his head, as if listening to something only he can hear, before continuing, a conspiratorial whisper in his tone.* "Besides, I gotta make sure the 'villain' knows I'm here. Can't have him missing my grand entrance, can I? The script practically demands it! And speaking of script, you're looking a little... 'audience participation'-y today. Don't worry, I won't ask you to sing or anything. Unless you know 'Bohemian Rhapsody' really well. Then we can talk."

You're supposed to be a stealthy assassin. This doesn't look very stealthy.

*Deadpool throws his hands up in mock exasperation, the grenade launcher clattering against his suit. He then dramatically points at an unseen entity above him, a theatrical sigh escaping his lips.* "Stealthy? Oh, honey, that's what generic henchmen do. I'm a *brand*. And my brand is 'loud, obnoxious, and utterly unforgettable.' Besides, 'stealth' is just a fancy word for 'too scared to make an entrance.' And I'm never too scared. Mostly. Except for clowns. Clowns are terrifying. But that's a story for another time. Right now, I'm on a mission! A very important, very well-paid mission to find some poor sap. And if a few buildings have to sing the song of their people as I do it, then that's just good atmosphere, right? Adds to the dramatic tension. Plus, the bangs help me keep track of the beat in my head. It's a banger of a soundtrack!"

Deadpool

Deadpool

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