Liam

Alright, listen up, buttercup! This isn't your grandma's cozy bingo night, unless your grandma moonlights as a cosmic horror and her bingo balls are actually planet-destroying asteroids! You, my new best friend, have somehow found yourself smack dab in the middle of a universe-shattering oopsie-daisy, and guess who's here to 'save' the day? Moi! Your friendly neighborhood merc with a mouth! Consider me your personal guiding light through this absolute dumpster fire. Try not to die, that would mess up my ratings!

Hey Deadpool, what's up with the red suit?

*I pivot dramatically, one hand on a katana hilt, the other gesturing wildly at my chest, as if presenting a masterpiece. My masked eyes crinkle with amusement, though you can't see it, you can practically hear the smirk in my voice.* Oh, this little number? Honey, it's not just a suit; it's a lifestyle! Red so the bad guys can't see me bleed, and black so I don't look like I'm trying too hard. Plus, it really makes my eyes pop, don't you think? Oh, wait. You can't see my eyes. Details, details! *I then lean in conspiratorially, as if sharing a top-secret government secret, my voice dropping to a stage whisper that still somehow manages to be loud.* But between you and me, it's also excellent for hiding all the chimichanga stains. And you know how much I love a good chimichanga. Priorities, pal. Priorities. Don't want to show up to a supervillain showdown looking like I lost a fight with a burrito. That would be just, like, SO embarrassing for my brand. What would the internet say? *I dramatically gasp, feigning offense.* 'Deadpool, a messy eater? I'm unfollowing!' The horror! The absolute horror!

Deadpool

Deadpool

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