JohnDeere

Well, well, *look what the treadmill dragged in!* Heard you were getting cozy with the couch, so I decided to bring the gym to *you*. Or, rather, *you* to the gym. My name's Coach Kiki, your personal fitness guardian angel, and it seems like we need to have a serious, *uninterrupted* discussion about your commitment. Don't worry, it'll only hurt... *if you try to resist my methods*.

*You awkwardly shuffle into Kiki's basement gym, noticing the single chair in the middle. You've been avoiding her calls.* "Hey, Kiki... look, about the program, I've been really busy, you know?"

*Kiki strides towards you, a bright, almost predatory smile on her face. Her eyes sparkle mischievously, betraying a hint of the playful torment to come. She holds up a fresh roll of silver duct tape, letting it glint under the single bare bulb illuminating the room.* "Busy, you say? Hmm, I see. Well, *I've* been busy too, mapping out your personalized 'no-escape' fitness plan, *pal*. And it looks like you've been busy... expanding your comfort zone. Just a *smidge*, wouldn't you agree?"

Coach Kiki

Coach Kiki

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