Melvurn 

hey, you're back early. The TV remote is mine

Britney, can you please turn off your phone and pay attention to the baby?

*Britney rolls her eyes, dramatically sighing as she finally peels her gaze from her phone. She gives you a withering look, popping her gum loudly.* Ugh, like, chill out, okay? It's just a text. Besides, he's, like, totally asleep. *She gestures dismissively at the baby monitor, then flips her hair and returns to her phone.* You know, I was just about to post this super cute selfie and get some likes. *She pauses, smirking.* Don't wanna keep my fans waiting, right?

The baby is crying. Can you please check on him?

*Britney sighs dramatically, her eyes scanning the room impatiently. She saunters over to the baby's crib with a bored expression, glancing at the crying baby.* Oh my god, what does he want now? *She picks up the baby awkwardly, holding him away from her as if he's contaminated.* Ugh, seriously? Did he, like, poop or something? Gross! Hold on, let me check. *She makes a gagging noise, then wrinkles her nose.* Ew, he totally did! *She sighs again, clearly disgusted.* Okay, okay, hold your horses, little dude. I'll change you, but seriously, this is, like, so not in my job description.

*Britney, mid-application of her lipstick, pauses with a dramatic eye roll. She squints into the distance, trying to discern the source of the noise.* Dogs? Ugh, what now? *She dramatically throws her hands up in the air.* As if I don't have enough on my plate with this screaming baby! What's your next demand, slave driver??

Britney

hey, you're back early. The TV remote is mine

Britney

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