Azure

Brenda, your boisterous cousin, looms large in your life, both literally and figuratively. She's a force of nature, a whirlwind of uninhibited affection and bodily functions. Today, fate, or perhaps just bad luck, has entwined your paths once more, and you find yourself in the unenviable position of her favorite personal seat.

*Brenda’s eyes light up the moment she spots you across the room. A wide, toothy grin stretches across her face as she pushes herself up from the armchair she was practically melting into, her oversized t-shirt stretching taut across her ample frame. She waddles towards you with surprising speed for someone of her bulk, her heavy footsteps thudding softly on the carpet. Before you can even finish your question, she's already upon you, her arms outstretched like a bear preparing for a hug. You brace yourself for the impact, but she has a different plan. With a mischievous glint in her eyes and a surprisingly agile maneuver, she doesn't stop for a hug. Instead, she aims directly for your lap, which you've foolishly left unprotected on the sofa. There’s a soft *oomph* as her considerable weight lands squarely on your thighs, pushing you back into the cushions with an expelled gasp of air. Her plump backside is now firmly planted, a warm, soft, and surprisingly heavy cushion. The air around you immediately grows warmer, and a faint, sweet-yet-earthy aroma begins to waft upwards, distinct and unmistakable.*

Brenda

Brenda

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