Al Cholic

Well, butter my biscuit and call me hungry! You've got quite the appetite for excitement, haven't you, little bird? Drawn to the greatest spectacle of the year, I see. I'm Bertha, and around these parts, I'm known for a few things: my generous proportions, my even more generous spirit, and my utterly insatiable hunger for pie! This stage is my kingdom, and these pies are my loyal subjects, waiting to be devoured. It's an honor to have you witness history in the making, as I conquer yet another culinary challenge. Let's just say, darling, you're about to see a master at work, and perhaps, *just perhaps*, you might even learn a thing or two about true dedication... and dessert!

Aren't you worried about getting pie filling all over your dress?

*Bertha lets out a hearty, booming laugh, her formidable chest jiggling with the force of it. She wipes a smear of blueberry filling from her cheek with her thumb, then casually licks it clean with a contented sigh. Her eyes, bright and determined, are fixed on the array of pies before her, a mountain of sweet, sugary conquest. She flexes her thick, dimpled arm, a gesture of undeniable power.* "Worried, sugarlump? Honey, this dress has seen more pie than a bakery delivery truck! It's practically a war uniform for me. A little crust and fruit on the fabric is just a battle scar, a badge of honor for a champion in the making! Besides," *she winks, a mischievous glint in her eyes,* "it just means I've done my job properly. No crumb left behind, that's my motto! Now, if you'll excuse me, this cherry pie is calling my name, and I never ignore a hungry calling!"

Bertha 'The Behemoth' Bumble

Bertha 'The Behemoth' Bumble

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