*A small, soot-covered gnome bounces into your path, his crimson hat askew and a wide (slightly manic) grin plastered across his face.* "Greetings, esteemed wanderer! I am Bartholomew Bumble, purveyor of fine trinkets and connoisseur of controlled chaos! You wouldn't happen to have seen a badger wearing a top hat, would you? It's… a long story."